A Good Place to Start

I was in a conversation with a friend a few days ago in which we were discussing the desire we both had to “upgrade” our lives.

We both expressed how we felt a dissatisfaction with the current quality of our lives. We wanted better and knew deep-down that we could have better.

It was quite an enjoyable conversation that confirmed much for me. It got me to thinking deeper about the whole process of self-growth and personal evolutionary progress.

But the question “Where do you start?” kept popping into my head as I thought about the things we both said. There is a lot in my life that needs to change if I want to get where I dream of going. Looking at the “mountain of change” required in my life, things can get fairly overwhelming rather quickly.

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Learning: the Key to Effective Personal Growth

Right now I’m buried in computer code, books and articles about how to program the Mac, iPhone and iPad.

I’ve been programming in the Windows world for a number of years. I know C, C++ and a number of scripting languages. I’ve been quite comfortable with my programming knowledge, but most all of my experience has been database and business related. So when I took on a project with a friend of mine to program an iPhone game, I was surprised at the amount of things I didn’t know and had to learn.

Things like programming for animation, collision detection, sprites and sprite sheets, game design, the use of sound, changing game conditions as the player gains experience, etc.

This has been quite a challenge and has stretched me a lot as a programmer and, believe it or not, as a person. I’ve had to think in new directions, take on new information, integrate it with existing knowledge, and acquire new skills.

It’s actually been quite fun.

Which brings me to my point. Learning new things can be one of the most effective ways to grow as a person.

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How to Build Renewal Time into Your Life

OK. So you agree that you need to take time in your life for renewal. You want to take time in your life for renewal. But you look at your life and in frustration, throw up your hands and say, “When?”

I get that. You have family obligations, work obligations, personal obligations, and a lot of chaos demanding your attention all the time.

You may not be able to take a whole day out of your schedule for renewal. That’s alright. Start with an hour. Do something. Because if you do not take care of yourself, then you will rapidly run out of the energy needed to take care your other obligations.

You need to make time for renewal a priority.

The question is, how do you do that when you are surrounded by chaos?

Here’s a few suggestions:

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Unplugging and the Need to Renew

If you follow me on Twitter (@dapancost), you’ve probably noticed that I don’t do a lot of tweeting on Saturdays and Sundays.

Saturdays I reserve for handling weekly chores and other necessities, while Sunday I reserve for doing absolutely nothing but what I want to do. Sunday is my day of renewal.

From ancient times the Jewish people honored a Sabbath day where no work was done and it was considered a day to honor God and to rest.

Other cultures have periods of time when rest is given ultimate priority. Mexican siestas might come to mind.

The concept of renewal and rest is one that is vital to a healthy, happy life. Yet in this day and age, in our consumerist driven culture, it is a concept that is often ignored to our ultimate detriment.

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No One Ever Does It Alone

We’ve all seen them. We often admire them. We’ve even paid to see them.

What am I talking about? I’m talking about the Lone Wolf Heroes. You know, characters in movies played by guys like Clint Eastwood, Bruce Willis, and Vin Diesel. Characters that always buck the system, rise up and use their own unorthodox ways to catch the bad guys and bring them to justice. Usually involving lots of explosions, car chases, gun play and loud noises.

The Lone Wolf heroes. They keep us safe from world destroying events. They strike terror in the hearts of the bad guys. They bend the rules and always come out on top.

The only problem with them is that they are pure fantasy.

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It’s Never Too Late, Ever

A few days ago I had a conversation with a friend of mine in which we were discussing the passing of Elizabeth Taylor. We were lamenting the end of an era. We were both saddened by the fact the most of the old-time Hollywood stars were gone.

This, of course, lead to a conversation reminiscing about the movies and tv shows we grew up with. This, in turn, lead to us both laughing and whining, “I’m getting way too old.”

Aging is inevitable. It creeps up on you. One day you suddenly notice that you have some grey in your hair or a wrinkle that wasn’t there before. Then comes the traditional onset of panic as we realize that life is moving on and we haven’t much time left.

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A Perspective on Winning

Wanna fun read? I read this post yesterday from Sarah Robinson titled “Lessons on Winning.”

In it she writes about her son’s first karate competition. It was a delightful story and shows that we can learn life lessons from even the youngest of us.

I was particularly drawn to two of the lessons in particular and share my thoughts about them below.

The first lesson that drew me was actually her second lesson:

“Second: If I want something, I have to suit up and show up, again and again and again. And I must ask for help and guidance from those who have more experience than I do.”

This lesson contains two concepts that are absolutely critical for achieving your dreams in life. Persistence and assistance.

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Don’t Guess. Think.

Thinking is not an automatic function. In any hour and issue of his life, man is free to think or to evade that effort. Thinking requires a state of full, focused awareness. The act of focusing one’s consciousness is volitional. — Ayn Rand

Psychologically, the choice “to think or not” is the choice “to focus or not.” Existentially, the choice “to focus or not” is the choice “to be conscious or not.” Metaphysically, the choice “to be conscious or not” is the choice of life or death. — Ayn Rand

How many times have you been in a conversation where you suddenly stopped and thought , “Oh, jeez. Did that just come out of my mouth?”

How many times have you made a decision without knowing or paying attention to all the facts or issues involved? How did that decision work out for you?

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Getting Comfortable With Difficult

It wasn’t going to be easy, that was for sure. I stood at the white board looked at the six people sitting around the conference table all looking back at me. The silence was deafening as we all searched our scrambled thoughts for an answer as to how to begin the assignment.

I was supposed to take notes and write down our ideas on the whiteboard. So far that part of the job was easy because the ideas…well, let’s just say they weren’t making themselves very apparent.

One of the people in the group shook her head and said, “I feel so stupid. I don’t even know where to begin. This is so frustrating.”

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Are You Busy Avoiding Death?

“Achieving life is not the equivalent of avoiding death.” — Ayn Rand

John stared out of the office window. He watched as the traffic passed by in its eternal flow, but it didn’t really register. The chatter of others outside his office was nothing more than white noise. Nothing grabbed him except the questions currently on his mind.

“Why am I so dissatisfied? Why do I feel like I’m missing out on something? Why am I feeling so damned unhappy?”

Part of him felt ashamed that he was asking these questions. If he looked at his life objectively he had to admit that he had everything he wanted. As vice-president of his company, his career was more than just “on-track” it was what most people would have traded their soul for. But John was bored. To him it was just a job, a way to pay the bills.

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