Liberty and Happiness: Responsibility for Self

Most people want security in this world, not liberty. — H.L. Mencken, Minority Report, 1956

Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it. — George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman, “Maxims: Liberty and Equality,” 1905

When I was a child I often would assail my parents with the demand for entertainment.

“I’m bored.”

“There’s nothing to do.”

These were two sentences that seemed to exit my mouth constantly when I was little. Today I am very thankful that my parent’s response was an equally constant, “I’m sorry for you. Looks like you’ll need to find something to do.”

Of course as a child I wasn’t as thankful as I am today. Back then I’d whine, stomp my foot or use any other technique I could think of to get my mom or dad do something about my boredom. Neither parent would budge. My dad would often say “I’m not responsible for your entertainment. That’s your job. Find something to do.” How could he be so cold and so mean?

What I didn’t know at the time was that my dad and mom were teaching me an invaluable lesson. They taught me that I and I alone am responsible for my own happiness and sense of well being. No one from the outside is going to rescue me from sadness, boredom or lack of self-worth.

In today’s culture we seem to have lost this important insight. When faced with a problem, we tend to look first to the external rather than to ourselves. Financial problems? Let the government bail us out. In relationships we demand that our spouse make us feel loved. In commercial transactions we look to litigation or threats of litigation rather than negotiation and wise choices for satisfaction.

The realization and commitment to the fact that we are responsible for our own lives seems to be as foreign to modern thinking as laughter is to Mr. Spock.

When we place the responsibility for our sense of well-being on some thing, person, or system, we become easily manipulated by the unscrupulous. We become demanding and obnoxious, driven by an out of control sense of entitlement. Mostly we become excessively vulnerable to potential loss.

Happiness is not achieved by relying on externals. It is only achieved and maintained by self-reliance. Wise choices, consistent action and self-knowledge is the only route to real, lasting happiness.

This is why liberty is so important. Without complete freedom to make mistakes, learn from them, and correct the direction of our future choices and actions, we loose the core of what makes us human. Relying on externals for our sense of happiness and well-being makes us slaves to those externals and takes from us our ability to learn and grow. It makes us broken and anything but happy.

Picture by flicker user davetoaster under Creative Commons License. Use of this picture does not constitute an endorsement by davetoaster of the ideas in this post.

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