What’s Getting in Your Way?

Are you struggling with attaining the life you want? Does satisfaction always seem to lie just outside of your grasp? So many conversations I’ve had with friends and colleagues recently have centered around how dissatisfied with life they are. These feelings seem to be exacerbated during a down economy.

Often it can feel like life conspires to keep us from our goals. We see nothing but roadblock after roadblock. During these times it can be a huge temptation to simply give up and quit struggling for outcomes that seem impossible to achieve.

The reality, however, is often different than our perceptions. Regardless of the current economic situation, or our own personal circumstances, you and I are responsible for the outcomes in our lives. Truth is the real roadblocks in our lives are far more mental than actual. Here are 5 roadblocks that can keep you from achieving your dreams and a suggestion or two about what to do to break through each one.

1. Fear of Failure

This is the granddaddy of ‘em all. It can completely paralyze us into absolute inaction and thus steal our dreams forever. What if I make a mistake? What if people laugh at me? What if I don’t achieve my dreams after all this work? What if I lose everything in the pursuit of a better life? Unless addressed positively, these questions can plague you and stop you dead in your tracks?

Fear of failure is a useless emotion. Failure is how we learn; how we improve. Failure can lead to success if you use it as a tool instead of yielding to it as a roadblock. Instead of running from failure, embrace it, seek it out, learn from it. You’re never down as long as you keep getting back up.

2. Fear of Success

If fear of failure is the grandaddy of mental roadblocks, this one is the grandmother. Achieving your dreams means making major changes in your life. Though these are mostly positive changes, they still disrupt and lead you into new, uncomfortable territory. Sometimes its easier to avoid these changes, than to experience them.

The thing about disruption is that it cleans out the clutter in life. It eliminates those things and people that hold you back. It creates opportunities for the kind of growth and adventure that makes life truly worth living. Rather than run from this kind of positive disruption, use it. Allow it to keep things fresh and clean in your life. Don’t be afraid of it, be thankful for it.

3. Lack of Clarity

Are you clear about what you want out of life? Really? Let’s find out.

Do you want to be rich? How rich? By when? How much are you willing to sacrifice to gain the riches you want?

Do you want to have lots of quality friends? How many? What do you mean by quality friends? Can you describe them? What are you willing to give to achieve those kind of friendships?

A big roadblock is lack of clarity. We simply do not spend the time needed to really get clear about what it is that we want — truly want — out of life. As a result we are left with a vague feeling that we’re missing out on some key element of life. We’re left with a sense of dissatisfaction, but can’t explain exactly what it is that dissatisfies.

The best way around this roadblock is to get things written down and to review them often. Be as detailed as possible and add to it as you think of new details. Don’t be in a hurry. Take as much time as you need. This isn’t a race. You are interested in clarity, not efficiency.

Getting clear will help you make better decisions, and guide your activities in the right direction. Getting clear will help you eliminate irrelevant things in your life without guilt and to add things of greater value into your life. Clarity leads to enormous amounts of quality living.

4. Lack of Patience

Face it. We live in the age of the Internet. With sites like Twitter, we can get access to news almost as fast as it happens. We can get access to a flood of information at practically the speed of light. As a result, we are tempted to want everything to come to us at faster and faster speeds.

Life, however, doesn’t work that way. It takes time to build a quality life, and that requires that we expend our effort with consistence and patience. This sets up a huge conflict that can cause us to chase after the fast fix. Fast rarely works.

How many people do you know have spent thousands on get rich quick schemes only to succeed in making people other than themselves rich? For wine to achieve it’s best flavor it must be aged. For you to achieve your best life you must learn, plan, take action, observe, adjust and do it all again. All these things take time and a lot of it.

I’m still learning how to blog. I’ve got a lot to learn and it will require much time and effort to achieve what I want in my blogging. The reality is that I’m enjoying the journey. Sure there are bumps along the way, but it’s still fun and adds to the quality of my life. I’ll get where I want to eventually, but in order to get there, I’ll need to persevere over the long haul.

Don’t let the pressure of other’s or your own expectations drive you to distraction. Take your time and work at your best pace. You’ll be glad at the results.

5. Lack of Encouragement

You can’t go it alone. Trust me on that. Going it alone is awful, well, lonely. Lonely isn’t good.

Struggling alone to achieve a quality life is the quickest route to quitting that I know. There are too many times when things don’t work, you get overwhelmed, or lose your way. Having others who encourage and support you in your life is like receiving a drink of cold water after spending a day in the desert.

The self-made man or woman is a myth. You’ll be very sorry if you follow it. Instead surround yourself by positive, encouraging, loving people who you can give to as well as receive from. Network both on-line and off. Eliminate negative people from your life and replace them with supporters. You’ll be glad you did.

What roadblocks have I missed? What techniques do you use to break through your roadblocks? Leave a comment and share how you manage to conquer what’s getting in your way.

Picture by Flickr User andryone under Creative Commons License

Leave a reply

Name (required)

Mail (will not be published) (required)

Website

Please leave these two fields as-is:

Protected by Invisible Defender. Showed 403 to 144 bad guys.